I don’t think many people — men and women — quite understand the roller coaster of emotions a person goes through while shopping for and picking out an engagement ring. Men don’t spend hours surfing the web researching a dream engagement ring like most women do. When it comes down to it, we don’t really shop in general unless it involves groceries or power tools. I wish that someone let me in on the secrets surrounding the perfect ring before hand. While there are some parts you have to see for yourself (like when she says yes), there’s still a lot of pieces that I can give you the heads up on. I hope I can pass along some helpful tips before you begin your engagement ring search. Here’s 10 things no one tells you about engagement ring shopping.
1. You’ll start listening carefully any time she talks about jewelry.
Once you’ve decided that you’re going to pop the question, conversations about jewelry become much more interesting than they’ve ever been. I’m talking about any possible hint you can get – from whether she loves her friends cushion cut style ring to what she may or may not have so subtly pinned from her favorite wedding inspiration board. If you don’t have enough info to start shopping the best thing you can do is consult her best friends. There’s no doubt that they’ve discussed the topic and what type of ring they dream of. If you still don’t have enough credible info, but you’ve discussed the topic of marriage (which hopefully you have), you might even want to casually browse rings together. This doesn’t mean you should walk into the nearest jewelry store buy one and propose right there but at least it gives you a good idea. This sounds a bit unromantic but it ensures you’ll buy her a ring that she really loves. 
2. Asking for permission will feel really awkward.
It doesn’t matter if you’ve known your partner’s parents for five months or five years, formally asking for their daughter’s hand in marriage isn’t exactly comfortable. It’s kind of like jumping off the high dive. You’re pumped until you’re at the edge of the board looking down into the pool. My advice? Just do it. Now is not the time to be secretive or discreet with her family. And if you’re the traditional type, you’ll agree that the act of asking shows respect and appreciation for the other person’s family. They’ll love you more for it.
3. You’ll want to talk to other guys who’ve gone through it before.
This is just too big of a purchase not to get an opinion on, even if your guy friends aren’t fashion experts they still can give you some input. Getting engaged is private so don’t recruit your loud mouth college roommate who’s going to tell your whole group of friends and potentially spoil it for your bride to be. This is the time to open your circle and invite in someone with experience engagement ring shopping. Ask previously engaged friends for great jeweler recommendations. You might even want to take a wing man with you on your first ring shopping trip to help offer support and back up your opinions.
4. All diamonds look the same at first.
When you see you see your first diamond, you will probably be awestruck. It’s shiny, sparkly and looks perfect (just like your fiancé). At this point, you might be tempted to whip out your wallet and call it a day. Don’t do it. Diamonds are not all the same and the first price your quoted won’t always be the best price. Play the field and shop around, ask lots of questions, take your time. There’s endless options when it comes to diamonds, You could buy a used diamond and get better quality for a much better price. Do your research and find out which option is best for you.
5. You might not want to buy her exactly what she wants.
When guys shop for their ladies, they tend to think it’s only the effort that counts. This couldn’t be less true. This is not a present where only credit counts. This is the time when you ditch your tastes or favorite stores, and think, “What would she really like?” You may love gold but she prefers platinum. You may like one cut, but she prefers another. It may be your wallet but remember it’s her ring. You don’t have to wear it for the rest of your life, she does. So always, always, always (did I say always enough times?) think about what she would buy, not what you like, you’re not a girl and you’ve probably never worn fine jewelry before. So stick to your girls taste, not yours.
7. Learning the 4Cs is like studying for an exam.
If you’ve ever bought a car and thought it was stressful, multiply that by nine. Ring shopping is the World Champion of Stressful Moments in a man’s life. But if done properly, it can also be one of the most memorable purchases you’ll ever make. I’m talking specifically about learning the 4Cs — that is the diamond’s cut, carat, clarity, and color. Put it this way: If you buy a ring without considering the 4Cs, it’s like buying an expensive car because of the price, and then finding out it has a crappy engine, a rust-filled body, and won’t last you a week. So take the time to study up before you shop to ensure you’re getting the most for your money.
8. Going custom will sound complicated and expensive (but it’s not).
One thing you’ll find out is that the diamond and the setting do not always have to come as one package. Yes, it’s easier to buy a ring as you see it, but you can buy the setting and diamond separately, and then have the jeweler make your own custom ring. But don’t let the word “custom” overwhelm you; this does not mean “expensive”. What this means is you happen to like the stone on one ring, and the setting on another, and now you can make your perfect engagement ring. Often times you can get pre owned diamonds and even save a few bucks. It never hurts to ask. I promise you, the jeweler will do whatever they can to make you happy, they know how important this is.
9. Your budget will be pushed.
Lets get real: Regardless of your budget, buying an engagement ring is going to be expensive. You’re not going to find a Groupon or Living Social deal for the perfect diamond ring. I can almost promise you that you’ll say you’re set on one price and then feel pressured to up your budget. Don’t be afraid to tell the jeweler your limit and remain firm. If getting one more carat means skipping out on rent and eating ramen for months then its time to pump the breaks. Believe it or not, when you go to buy an engagement ring you’re the one in the driver’s seat, not the polite and excited person across the counter. It’s your money, your time and your moment, so make the most of it by looking around and weighing your options to find the perfect ring.
10. You’ll be exhausted (and relieved) by the time it’s time to plan the proposal.
After it’s all said and done: You did your homework, chatted with her fiends, shopped all around town and finally picked one out, you’re going to want to get the ring off your hands (and on to hers) as soon as humanly possible. Stop. You’re not done yet, planning the proposal is equally as important as picking out the ring, so you need to really make it count. It doesn’t need to be elaborate like those YouTube videos all the women in the office rave about, but it needs to be more than a text saying “BTW I got you an engagement ring”. You only get one chance to execute an amazing proposal, so just like you did with the ring, come up with a plan that you know she will love.